Full disclosure.

When I turned thirty, I celebrated life. I celebrated the gift of choice. I celebrated the turn-around from wanting to die to wanting to live. I got healthy, both body and mind. I was strong and flexible in most areas of my life. Life got better and better. It got good to the point where, on some level, I secretly believed there was nothing more to be gained … and then all hell broke loose.

Sitting here, feeling a profound peace, I look back at almost two years of chaos and disruption and see the perfect orchestration of events that led to the lessons I needed to learn more than anything; to love myself fully and completely without outside validation; to shed the grief of living in constant fear of not being loved and the choices that  evolved naturally.

This year, turning thirty-eight, I celebrate my life. I celebrate the freedom that comes through choice. I celebrate the turn-around from wanting to becoming. For the first time in my life, I am fully present. I’m not being kept back by limiting beliefs from my past; spending my time doing what I love most; marveling at the future that is awaiting, crafting it deliberately. For the first time in my life, there is no need to hold back anymore; I am free.

Comments 4

  1. Thank you so much for your writing. You have inspired me for a while now. Although I am much older than you. I am only partway along the path. You give me hope of light at the end of the tunnel and that it will all have been worth it. Bless you, beezy

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    dear Beezy,
    I feel so deeply blessed that my life and writing inspire hope in you. I can’t imagine anything more precious than being able to touch someone’s life through the gifts that have been bestowed upon me in this life. Ralph Waldo Emerson wrote: ” to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded.” What a blessing! What an amazing grace. Thank you for sharing these kind words. You cannot possibly fathom what they mean to me. I have gratitude tears in my eyes and want you to know with all my heart that because of your words I have ‘breathed easier’.
    May you be free of anxiety and stress. May you feel loved. May you feel ease. May you be well. May you see the light in you as I do. Norea / Hermien

  3. Let your celebration continue undeterred this time Norea. You have found the true love in yourself..yes the words of inspiration make breathe easier.

    May you make others breathe easy..and be in eternal bliss.

    Beezy, the tunnel end is just around the corner..find it now!

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