One and a half week ago, on an early Sunday morning, we received a call from my mother-in-law, that my father-in-law had had a stroke. In the stroke, the flow of oxygen in the right hemisphere of his brain was cut off for what probably was a prolonged period of time. As a result, the appearance of the man we love so dearly has changed. As my daughter put it very aptly “I miss my granddad.”
To be a by-stander, to not be able to do anything but give love and facilitate healing feels unsettling, but then this is life. This is life. Although we would like to believe otherwise, all we can do for others and ourselves is to give love and facilitate healing. It is only at a time like this that this truth lies bare, unhidden by the illusion we prefer to see. Truth always facilitates healing. It never forces, always leaves the choice to us. Are we willing to step up to the plate, or do we choose to cover the truth that is revealed to us with the illusion of control again? No matter the situation, I choose the first. And as harsh as it may sound, this situation provided me with exactly the right impulses to help me grow more in to all that I am.
This week, I discovered that the basis of my ‘trust’ fund was wobbly. It was built on sand instead of rock. As the week progressed, I got more tired, more stressed. What stood out most was that I started eating licorice, and couldn’t stop. On Monday, my husband and I had a minor falling out. It was no big deal, yet I felt such stress that my body started shaking and all I wanted to do was curl up and be comforted by someone that made me feel completely safe. No one fitted the profile, the person who makes me feel safest just left the building with a thundercloud over his head. It was only then that I realized I felt Unsafe and Unsupported. Capital U. Core beliefs. In the first weeks of my life, my body and mind were imprinted with the message that I am unsafe, that I am unsupported. And ever since, my body and mind have repeated that message to me, over and over again. At core, I believe that I AM unsafe, that I AM unsupported. Trust does not thrive on these beliefs.
So yesterday, I did what I do when I discover an ineffective belief, I let it go. I let it go by literally breathing into the pain and getting the stale energy that is stored in my body to move again until it is felt and released. It was the first time I reached so deep into my body. Amazingly, while I was releasing being unsafe my sixth chakra was activated, and while I was releasing being unsupported my crown chakra was activated. This energy system of us is so beautifully designed, and so logical. We cannot trust the inspiration that is flowing to and through to us when we believe we are unsupported. We cannot envision great things to happen through and to us when we believe we are unsafe. Just like we cannot create abundance when we don’t dare to express ourselves, or own our power when we don’t love ourselves.
One of the great mystical Truths is that we are One. This means that what is done to one is done to All. I believe the best way to give love and facilitate healing to others is by healing ourselves. When we heal ourselves, the whole gets healthier. When we heal ourselves, we allow others to heal more easily, because only when we are unhindered by disempowering beliefs, we can be fully present in every moment, and love everything and everyone with the same, undivided attention. This is what it means to allow the Universe to flow through us without interference. To let Love flow without expecting anything in return. We cannot do this unless we know that we are all safe, unless we know that we are being supported, always. Only then, we can trust that everything is working out for the best without needing to see physical proof. I know that all is well. My physical eyes may not see it, but I won’t be fooled by them when my heart tells me otherwise.
picture by Puiu Adriana Mirabela