Last week, I lightly touched upon the topic of ‘undeservingness’. Most of us, if not all of us, have feelings of undeservingness. Unconsciously of course, because no one in their right mind would believe they were not deserving of love and abundance, in the widest sense of the word. I know that I was kind of shocked to discover that one of my deepest beliefs was that I deserved to be ignored, to be rejected, because that is what I learned in my earliest days. I also believed that I only deserved to survive, that life is a struggle.
I believe that feelings of undeservingness block the flow of go(o)d. We receive what we believe we deserve. Now we may think we deserve everything, but thinking happens in the head and deservingness is housed in pelvic area. How do I know that? Because that’s where I feel the pain and the blockages, when either I get conscious of a feeling of undeservingness or when I am releasing feelings of undeservingness. My body is not unique in the sense that it has a different physiology or that the link between my emotional body and my physical body is different from everyone else’s. I may be more aware of it, that’s all.
Now how do I release these dysfunctional beliefs? First, I become aware of the fact that I have a belief that isn’t beneficial. The rule of thumb here is very easy, when I don’t feel relaxed, I am stressed, and stress is caused by a belief that isn’t working for me. When that happens, I put on my Sherlock hat, get my magnifier and go on a clue hunt. I will ask questions and listen intuitively. A good question to begin with is “Why am I feeling stressed?” I will listen to the answers that come up and trust my intuition to pick the right answer, usually it is the first, the one that doesn’t make a lot of sense. Then I will ask four more whys. “Why is [first answer] making me feel stressed?” Again, I let my intuition decide what answer is correct, even if it doesn’t make any sense. And then I ask: “Why is [second answer] making me feel stressed?” I don’t know why but the fifth answer, in my experience, is always the right answer. The five whys tool has been developed by Sakichi Toyoda, the founder of Toyota Industries. Today it is widely used to get to the root cause of any problem.
The root cause of my stress always is a deep-held negative belief. I have learned that releasing a specific belief is easier that releasing a general belief. Your root cause may be “I am unworthy”, that can be quite overwhelming. Then it may be easier to release the answer to question number four. Suppose your answer to that question is the belief “I don’t deserve to take the time I need to find out what is best for me” as I encountered yesterday, which always causes me to jump head forward into a new endeavor, because taking the time to let things cristallize feels way too uncomfortable. What you do next is keep that thought in mind and feel what happens in your body, just feel and know that all is well. You will feel discomfort, but the discomfort is a product of the past. Every time you believed that untruth, the pain caused by believing that untruth attached itself to parts of your body. The discomfort you feel is the accumulated pain of believing that you don’t deserve to take the time you need to find out what is best for you. Remember this pain is a result, it is not happening now. All you do is feel and become aware of the thoughts that are attached to that discomfort. You simply breathe in and breathe out while holding in your mind the false belief and feeling the discomfort in your body. You will feel discomfort in more places than one, consecutively. When the discomfort is gone in one place, it will reappear in another place. It will probably feel different too. That’s normal. You just keep focusing on the belief, the feeling and your breath. At a certain point in the releasing process, you will notice that any feeling of discomfort is gone. At that point, you turn around the statement. You say: “I deserve to take all the time I need to find out what is best for me.” And again the same process starts. You will feel resistance in your body and in your mind. All you do is breathe and know that all is well. What you are feeling is conditioned resistance, it has nothing to do with you. The real you is beneath the resistance. And while you focus on the belief, the feelings attached to it and your breath, you release the resistance from your body, you detach from your tissue the belief that has been imprinted in you during your life.
When the discomfort is gone, you either may feel nothing special, or numb or very tired, or you may feel bubbly, like Tigger or you can’t stop laughing. There is no wrong or right way to feel. How you feel afterwards doesn’t say anything about the quality of the releasing. Your body needs time to adjust, every cell in your body needs to be reprogrammed. My experience is that it can take up to two weeks before you notice subtle or big differences. I remember the first time I heard a soothing voice in my head after I ‘messed up’ something, telling me everything was okay, that I could just try again. I was alone in my office, and I actually looked around to see who had said that, because I had never heard that voice before. It was completely surreal and when I realized ‘I’ had said that to myself, I just started crying, because up until then I had always hit myself over the head when I messed up. With every negative belief I release, there is relief. I become more relaxed, more easy-going. I have made huge leaps towards a more loving and healthier self, and I know this is only the beginning. I wish for all to be free of the past. May you release the old to make space for the new. Namasté.
Image by Marija Gjurgjan