For so long I have been chasing things like being a good person, being healthy, being happy, being successful, making money, having a career. But those things don’t matter any more. Yes, I love having most of the above, but I am no longer striving to have them. All I want is to feel great.
There are still (many) days when I fall back into old habitual patterns of thought and behavior, when I put a lot of effort in the things I want to accomplish. When I don’t set the deliberate intent to feel great and I unintentionally let life’s whims rule how I feel. Those days are characterized by feeling off and waning energy. I now see that being ruled by life is the ultimate way to give away my power. If there would be a root of evil, it is this, to give away my power. For it prohibits Life to flow through me, and leaves me powerless, without energy.
If there would be sin, which I don’t believe, it is to live unintentionally, to not be master of my thoughts and emotions, to be prey to whatever life presents to me, be it fortune or misfortune. From now on, I intend to feel great no matter what. I intend to wake up feeling great and keep that momentum going. So if you feel me zoning out on your story or if I react to your story with less empathy than you are used from me, it is not because I don’t love you anymore, it is just that I value feeling great over getting caught up in your energy, because in the end it will do us both no favor. When you are feeling down, I will most lovingly do my utmost best to stay centered. This way, I throw you a proverbial rope and all you have to do is take it and climb up. Because yes, all I want is to feel great, but what I want even more is for us both to feel great.
photo by Pontus Edenberg